A year Ago today,
A year ago today I didn't know how I'd be here
or that I'd be.
I would've never imagined the healing that could take place
I didn't know I was so broken
I didn't know that you didn't brake my heart.
I was broken before you
I had already broke my own heart.
With you I felt whole
because alone I wasn't complete.
I missed you more then I missed me
and I was the one missing.
This poem was written at my bestfriend's house under the Aquarius full moon lunar eclipse. I felt very comfortable in the setting, at home. My sisters were meditating and sage was lit, I felt an energy I wasn't sure what it was or how to put my finger on it. This is the first poem I have fully written since about then a year ago when I truly begun to change in aspects as an artist in relation to on going events throughout this year period of time. (with the exception of one poem I performed at dapoetrylounge after an extremely traumatizing event) A major turning point was feeling that my heart had been broken by someone I considered the first love of my life around this time last year. I feel like it could've been an influence on an emotional blockage I began to experience around that time. I now know that this blockage was a reflection of my mental state of mind in the aspect that I was emotionally suppressing a lot of toxic energy that I even to this day am still learning to express as an artist. I completely ignored the truth in seeing that I should of been realized I was my first true love, and instead of falling in love with someone else...I should of fell in love with myself first. I've learned that our relationships are a true reflection of ourselves. This statement can sounds crazy if we aren't able to accept the yin and yang meaning the dark and light sides of ourselves and how we project our energy onto other people. (link or: ***Google control dramas*** ) Control dramas are often experienced in relationships and encountering them without knowing how to protect your energy can be toxic as well, leaving you feeling drained. I've learned however that we are all blessed to experience the interconnectedness of energy and the source is infinite; meaning there is enough energy for us all and more, we don't need to feel the necessity rob others or ourselves of the omnipresence. It seems impossible, however to feel and experience this God flow of energy and omnipresence if we first do not love ourselves. Because its this self love that opens ours eyes to the perspective of how to love another, and not just from our relationship's standpoint but as a human being, a spirit. The way we love ourselves is often the way others will love us.