Before I am a designer, a model, a poet, or any of the things used to label me..
[I AM] a soul having a human experience.
Sometimes we allow ourselves to believe that we are all that we are not. Most the time we are identifying.
& most the time we get mixed up in the anxieties of doing this thing called being human.
1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
2. desire to do something, typically accompanied with unease
I used to be an over thinker. I would think about my ideas, plan my ideas, think about them some more, then repeat. But the problem with thinking is that its like "trying".. it puts something in between me and what I am to do. Too much of anything seems no good, life is about balance.
For me personally, Its all about the process of creating.. of living that is art.
I don't think as much anymore, instead I live more. [I AM] more. & now I will create more.
I got mixed up in being everything, that I forgot all that I am not... which is also what makes me all that [IAM].
I almost allowed the pressure of society to delude my awareness in creating. Its the process of transmuting feeling in a particular moment that is one of the beauties creating art, not just the final product itself. Its the creative process where one may understand more about the artist in the art.
It is this creative process that I have disrupted.
Lately I haven't been putting out art because I was too concerned with controlling the process of creating that I wasn't allowing myself to just create what I feel. Instead I was analyzing what I feel, and trying to figure out what I feel so my message can be properly perceived/understood. But the more I did this the more anxious I became because I just wanted to do something and it felt like nothing was getting done since things weren't happening on my time. In reality there is nothing to be understood and God's time is diving timing. I truly had to learn to trust my process. Its good to have control but not to allow control to control you.
I got caught up overthinking when I was going to put what out, and how that I just didn't end up putting out new work out at all... and now its old to me. (haha) This has been a repeating cycle, one that deceived my purpose in creating from the beginning. I create to enlighten, motive, and inspire which helps me make a living however it is not my living. (if that makes sense) Living life, thriving life.. is my living.
The cycle was birthed from the realization that in this day and age, money makes society go around. I thought I needed money to create but the fact is.. that mindset isn't a creative at all. Living life initially inspired me as an artist, the beauty in creating something out of nothing. I didn't always need a large budget to create, I needed resources and a strong imagination + work ethic. Society pushed me into believing that I needed to put out a certain amount of collections a year to be a designer, or poems to be a poet but this is only true to an extent. Again life is all about balance.
Being an artist is interesting. Necessarily I guess you can say my job is to live, to create. Because if creating from individual perspective is art, then living is art.
1. the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty of emotional power.
2. the various branches of creative activity
You see, the way i think is art, the reality I have created from my human experience is art. The way I heal is art. The way I love is art. The way I feel is art. The life I am... is art. Because living life is a form of expression in how I choose to live and create daily.. my thoughts, my perspectives, my reality.
I am a visual representation of life, a human sculpture. God's art.
[I AM] life.
[I AM] art.
Next time that you think of me, don't label me. Accept all that I am, because I'm doing the same.
I do not create art by societies standards, I do not design from societies expectations. [I AM]
and creating from this presence, feeling each moment of my life and creating from its essence.
I am an artist that does not believe in time. [I AM] in my own world and sharing glimpses of it with you, my world does not revolve around the same ideals as yours and thats the beauty of it all.
Its a blessing to be learning this lesson and I feel that expressing this has also helped me sort things out in a way that will help me continue as my most authentic self, and evolve into the artist I aspire to be. No longer anxious about how I am expressing myself, but that [I AM].
-Peace be with you, Melianj
P.s- there is beauty in sharing, send this to one artist you know.